Diminishing Words

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Three... Two... One

This morning in Read Write Chat Meetup group we did an interesting exercise on reducing the syllables in a piece of writing. 

The first task was to write a poem including as many words as possible that were three syllables long. The second task was to re-write the poem using mostly words that were two syllables long. The third task was to re-write the poem in words that were only one syllable long.

I found the exercise increasingly difficult. Not because it was hard to do, but that it was challenging to retain the meaning that I had initially intended. 

In retrospect it felt as if writing the first draft was like drawing an image with lots of little arrows pointing to what everything was. Directions on how it should be interpreted. Like a graph with all the axes labelled and measured and a key to explain the colours and shapes.

By task two, it was as if I were removing the labels and instructions, leaving only the structure, but not being really clear anymore as to what the image was trying to say exactly. 

Then by task three, it was as if labels and the axes had been totally removed too, leaving the whole thing open to interpretation. What do those squiggles, colours and shapes even mean any more? It's up to you to decide.

Task Prompt

The prompt for the task was 'Red Ribbon'. It's strange writing in the cafe. There's lots of noise, chatting from other tables, the music playing in the background, the usual clacking, clinking of tableware and cutlery, and whoosing of the coffee machine. So it's not clear always, when I've put up my forcefield of concentration, just what is influencing me.

This time I was so stuck and couldn't think of things to write, I sucked in inspiration from what was around me or nearby - the river, the metal railing by the road, across the street from the cafe, the music and presumably the political turmoil of late and the associated colour of the ribbon.

Task 1: Three Syllables

Discarded on the riverside
Becoming entangled
It's resting place
On the embankment
Intertwined
Red Ribbon
Steel railings
Depicting the failings of a system gone wrong.
A call to arms.
A battle song
Liberty lost
A sickening cost.

Task 2: Two Syllables

Litter by the river
Becomes tangled in its resting place
Scarlet ribbon
Woven throughout metal railings
Showing the failings of a system gone wrong
A call to arms
A battle song
The cost of freedom lost

Task 3: One Syllable

Thrown by the stream
Tied in knots
Comes to rest
Red thread through steel
Shows how it all failed
Went wrong
Somehow
A call to arms
A war song
Too high a cost
The free are lost