A Room of One's Own

I yearn for a quiet room of my own. A room away from stress and pressures. Where there will be no letters From the job centre Or council to turn my day into a tail spin. No phone calls chasing me for money. No chasing jobs.

No one understands that although I work, Almost every penny I earn gets taken off my benefit. I end up no better off, Than if I’d done nothing at all. My writing and my acting are unlikely to ever pay my rent. But they keep me breathing, Even when everything else around me is spent. 

Working class. I’m a window.
Looked through
But never seen. I didn’t study a literary degree Or attend an expensive drama school. Made to feel a fraud for trying. I’m allowed to write for my wellbeing Or for fun. But made to look arrogant to suggest I might be the one Who gets paid for what I love to do. The poor don’t get paid to play. Not with words Not on the stage. They don’t deserve to choose. 

So I am determined to prove the world wrong. Whether I am in them or not, I will get my stories out.  Finish my play. One day. In a quiet room of my own.

Stitching the Feathers Back on

I didn't get chosen for 'A Room of One's Own'. It would have been an unbelievable chance to work away from life and noise and frustrations, to write in peace, calm and focus on getting my play finished in the National Centre for Writing at Dragon Hall. But it was an important lesson in life, not to become complaisant to serendipity.

I am well aware that, although I like to jump off cliffs and build my wings on the way down, more often than not I am prone to go splat. I have no one to pick me up and stitch me back together. So I spit the blood into the sand, pull myself back up, dig in my heels and I keep fighting. Stronger for knowing I will finish my work regardless.

Morning Pages

And to that end, I started writing Morning Pages three mornings ago and it has been brilliant. I read about it some time ago but never took it up. I was sceptical and not keen on the whole 'Mornings' part of the concept, not being much of a morning person... proving the point as I am typing this at 01:35am. But it does clear out the mind of frustrations and blockages, real and imagined and helps clarify thoughts for the day. Freeing up the mind for creativity and expression.

Writing Goals and Eating the Elephant

I also set some writing goals last week which are going well. I tried not to set the goals excessively high this time. When I set high expectations like: "I will spend tonight writing up a scene and then my neighbours cause an absolute racket all night, I get anxious, annoyed, upset, frustrated and I get no work done at all.

So I set myself an easy goal. Half an hour of script per day. Such a simple and easy goal that it's difficult to write that little. But if distractions happen I can get half a page done and tell myself that I will just come back to it when the house is quiet and/or just pick up where I left off the next day.


It's working. I started on the 8th August and I've written seven new pages. If I'd actually only written half a page per day, I would have only written three pages, so I am already ahead of schedule. I like to aim high, but sometimes you just have to stop trying to eat the elephant whole and start taking little bites.

The 70 pages are in addition to 30 that I have already. I'm just estimating that it should be approximately 100 pages for a full length stage play. We shall see.